Defeating the Stigma

Today, the eighth member of the New York Police Department committed suicide.

This year.

That’s eight officers in almost as many months, just in ONE department. How incredibly sad and unnecessary.

The last two years, the number of police suicides per year has surpassed the number of officers killed in the line of duty, by all methods. Combined. That number is already ridiculously high in itself, so it’s mind blowing that so many men and women in law enforcement are choosing to end their own lives.

My heart used to be much harder about suicide, particularly with police. Whenever it happened in my department (it’s unfortunate that I am able to say that), I would be so angry at the person. They, of all people, should know the tragedy it is to lose someone, how painful it is, how life-shattering it is. My response to hearing of a suicide used to be something along the lines of, “What a selfish asshole.”

This, of course, while I was crying or at least trying not to cry. It hurt, it made me sad, it made me feel disappointed. While I still feel those last three emotions, I don’t have as much of the anger that I once held regarding the act.

Because yes, it hurts me, it hurts coworkers, it hurts their family and friends. But, it’s not selfishness. The men and women who are ending their own lives? They themselves are hurting. They’re hurting so much that they make the decision to take their own lives knowing how much it will hurt everyone else. Because when they get to that point, if they’re already decided that they are going to kill themselves, they don’t care about anything else, and they’re not thinking about anything (or anyone) else.

There has been huge improvement in the recognition of how important mental health is to our officers and military members. There is also an improvement in the stigma attached to officers and military members who seek assistance in this area.

But, improvement doesn’t mean it’s all better. There is still a long way to go and a lot of work to do. There are SO many programs out there that are set up specifically to offer help to first responders and military, people just need to learn about them and, here’s the kicker, actually use them.

I know from personal experience that there is a huge fear in seeking mental health assistance, specifically for police. They worry about confidentiality, they worry about coming across as weak, they worry about personal information getting out, they worry about talking to civilians who won’t understand what they’re going through, and they worry about losing their guns. Because if they are deemed by a doctor and/or department to be in mental distress or have emotional turmoil, it’s a very real possibility that they’ll be required to hand over their duty weapon. That weapon isn’t just their safety at work, to and from work, and at home. It’s part of their jobs. If they can’t have their duty weapon, that means they can’t do their jobs.

Usually, to make money, people have to have jobs. So you can see how this would cause some apprehension.

I volunteer with a program called Serve and Protect. It’s a program that offers assistance to first responders seeking mental health assistance or counseling. I’m a peer advocate as well as a spousal advocate. This means that when people call in to mental health crisis lines such as SafeCallNow, the volunteer there will talk to them and get some information to them, and then forward their information on to us. We will then follow up with them and confirm their zip code as well as their insurance carriers, and keep in contact with them and start the process of getting them talking. While that’s happening, behind the scenes volunteers locate counselors in the caller’s area who accept their insurance and preferably who have treated first responders before. This is in an effort to encourage first responders and their spouses to stay mentally healthy, and to get help when they need it.

At the conference I am attending this week, I have met two men involved in an amazing program for wounded officers, called The Wounded Blue. The purpose of the organization is to assist officers wounded in the line of duty to learn about the resources and benefits available to them, and then connect them to the people who would serve them best. As we all know, wounds aren’t always visible, and therefore this includes stress-related behavioral and mental health issues.

The organization was founded by a man named Randy Sutton, who I met, and the other man with him was Eddie Richardson. Eddie has written a wonderful article published online (link to follow) about his struggles with suicidal thoughts. He was injured on duty, a spinal injury due to being purposely hit by a car, and lost the use of his right leg (he has fought and rehabbed his way back to walking by now). It is completely deplorable how he was treated after this, to the point where he was on crutches to help him walk, yet cleared to go back to full duty. He was jumping through hoops to get the help he needed physically, and he was even called a liar by some of the people he sought help from. The whole process brought him to the point where he had his gun in his mouth, with the intent to commit suicide, more than once.

By the grace of God, he never pulled the trigger, and he is alive today to spread his message and use his plight to help others.

The Wounded Blue is launching, in about two weeks, a program where officers, their spouses, and their children have the option to utilize a mental health technology platform to speak with mental health professionals remotely. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, licensed mental health professionals are at the disposal of officers and their families from the comfort of their own homes, with no worry on confidentiality, being made fun of, or what have you. All this at less than a fraction of a cost that it would be to seek help on one’s own, insurance or not.

I had to conceal tears forming in my eyes while I stood there talking to Eddie. I have my own medical trauma story (which is why I’m medically retired) and I will likely share it on this blog eventually. But today, I want to focus on Eddie. What an incredibly strong person to have gone through horrid things on duty, and again while attempting to recover from these things, and have such mental distress that he was literally seconds away from committing suicide, and then turn around and use this time in his life to do his best to make sure no other officer has to go through that kind of hardship again.

So, let’s use him. Let’s not have his past struggles be in vain. Let’s reach out to The Wounded Blue, SafeCallNow, Serve and Protect, our spouses, parents, friends, coworkers. Let’s get the help that we need and bring that suicide number down to zero.

Below, I have posted the links to some of the resources I’ve mentioned in this article. If you’re one of those who needs help but is afraid to ask for it, please, please reach out to one of these organizations or someone you trust. If you know a first responder who probably needs assistance but is either not willing to get it on his or her own, or maybe doesn’t realize help is needed, please share these resources with them. Post about them on social media. Ask police departments to display posters in the precincts. Do whatever you can to get the word out and get people in contact with help. Save their lives.

First responders and military members are so important to our communities, our cities, our counties, our states, our country. They should be treated that way, and they should be granted all the resources and benefits that they need, that they deserve, and that they earned in their service.

Let’s join together and make sure that happens.

Eddie’s article: https://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/observations-suicidal-law-officer/

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